Throwing My Kids to the Wind

      I was reading an article the other day about how birds learn how to fly. What surprised me was that based on how their baby acts determines what method the mother will use to help them learn how to fly. Some chicks need to be scaffolded (supported)/ reinforced, for a while, then eventually the mother will do things, such as leave the food a little further from the nest in order to encourage the chick to venture out of the nest and learn to use their wings. At other times, the mother just literally kicks the chick out of the nest...see where I am going with this???? What a great analogy. These birds are an example of how my husband and I have had to treat each child differently, based on their ability. Many times I have been questioned about my decision to allow my children to do specific things or people wonder what made us make that choice. Our kids did. For example, when Julian wanted to go overseas I was a little  hesitant because of many factors. Money, accessing the program (of course the trip she wanted to go on had a home group from NJ...3 hours away, which is where we trekked to, every month), money, commitment on my, hubby and her part and money. However nervous I was, I sat down with her, helped her develop a fundraising plan (part of which included her getting a job and holding a concert) and then we allowed her to implement it. Every once in a while, I had to check in to see how she progressed but I stood back, most of the time and allowed her efforts to expand. At times, my husband had to show Julian how to engage people in our community, but once Julian  got the first donation and  confirmation letter, she was able to take the reigns and became really excited. Julian ended up getting all of the money she needed (1/2 in fundraising efforts) and went on a awesome 21 day trip to 7 countries through the People to People Student Ambassador Program (http://www.peopletopeople.com/). It was not easy, I almost went broke lol,  but Julian learned lessons about community, family supports, reciprocity (she does so many good things within the community; thus people did so for her). She could really see what she could accomplish by persevering. I can't imagine having to prod her through another process, ever again. She can check in as much as she likes, but I trust her decisions. There were many different experiences that I knew my kids had interests in (a child wanting to go to college in NYC; a child wanting to join the Marines at age 17; a young adult contemplating moving away from family to start her own family; a child not wanting to go to college but explore theater (we are still working on her); a child who wanted a real job) but were hesitant to make that first step. We had to bait them with the eventual outcome, Almost as if we were sideline coaches: " You can do it...You Got This!!!!; You will do so well...what's the worst that can happen?" Of course they're fearful and prefer to remain close to home however our belief is that they have the ability to grow from so many experiences that at times, we need to just throw the kids to the wind,...and watch them fly.

                                 

                                                   The Choices That One Makes


If I were ever asked the question, would I homeschool again now that I know what I know, would I? Absolutely, unequivocally, no doubt in my mind, heck to the yea, YES!!. We have been homeschooling in some capacity (cyberschool, formal homeschool, unschool, radical unschool) for 15 years. As stated in my profile I have 6 kids. 4 girls and 2 boys. My main goal was to do what I felt the school would not do...take an interest in my kids' learning ability and not group them with others. My kids are special, as I understand every mother feels about their child, as well. Why would I expect someone who sees my child (in addition to 30 other children) for approximately 6 hours a day, to be able to really draw out his/her likes, dislikes, capacity for learning and and learning style and then be expected meet each child's needs based on individuality. If the teacher,in school, had the chance to sit with each child individually, she would only be able to do so for 12 minutes a day. My decision to pull my kids was so that I could help nurture their individuality. Here are my kids:

This is my oldest daughter, Jacqui  (25). She is the main reason why I made the decision to pull the kids out of school. She is the most creative girl I know. She has developed a knack to style hair and do design nails as  not only to save money but also to make money. Self-taught by the way. She is industrious and eclectic. She learned that she likes journalism and is now interested in going back to school to pursue it. Jacqui is the first on the scene via cyber journalism and is the one who informs all of us of what is going on in the world. She loves the news.  Through homeschooling she learned and tap into her strengths, use her resources and learn whatever she wants to. Jacqui was our first world traveler. When she was 15 years old, I was afraid that she truly believed the only world that existed, was in Norristown PA. I found this organization, Windsor Mountain International (http://www.windsormountain.org/), which had a 30 day trip called European Travelling Theater. Jacqui went to Italy and learned about Italian comedy and how to walk on stilts. She and her group then conducted street theater performances as they migrated from Italy, to Spain then onto France. Jacqui was brave because when she went over as it was a few years after 9/11 and a few months after the Madrid subway bombings) and for some reason the day she went, there was high state of emergency in the states. I remember the day she flew over to Italy (by herself) and met her group she was a little nervous but met her fear, walked onto the plane (looking like a model) and encountered one of best journey's of her life.  

This is my oldest son, Vernell (24). He always had an interest in history. He was good in all academic subjects. When he was younger, we helped him nurture his interest in art by sending him to community art classes. He is really good. As a homeschooling teen he volunteered for local public service agencies and interned with local magistrates. Vernell even did artwork for a party my job was having. Oh I also forgot to mention, when my youngest was born, Vernell did the artwork in her room...at age 10. Vernell did make the decision to go back to brick and mortar school in senior year and he participated in JROTC and then went onto the Marine Reserves for 4 years. Now he is thinking of going into a career in drafting but in the meantime, he is working with youth who are living in a local teen shelter/behavioral setting. 

This is my youngest son, Austin (20). He was homeschooled from 1st grade to 8th. He decided to go back to brick and mortar school in 8th grade. Our school district is lacking, so I made sure he knew about and had access to all program which would make sure he had a chance to get to college. He participated in a Dale Carnegie program, Summers at Penn State under the Upward Bound Math and Science Program, Penn State FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) program and FBLA in school and the Museum Program (now defunct due to funding). Austin has always been a free spirit, so trust me all these activities caused arguments...however I know my son and he participated, did well and liked it. Austin graduated from high school and while once again, I wanted him to go to Morehouse or Howard...least of all Penn State; of course he chose CUNY: John Jay School of Criminal Justice and is a junior...yes he won that battle. Austin is working 2 jobs, paying his own rent (in Harlem) and is going to school full time for forensic psychology. He is also dabbling in rapping....he is pretty good, I must say.

Julian is my 17 year old activist. She was always the one who was shy and quiet but we learned that she liked to help out. when Julian was 5 she told me that she did not want to learn how to read. We ignored her :). When Julian was 7 she read an article in Time Magazine or Newsweek, about monkeys in the Congo and was adamant that we needed to do something to save them. for awhile she thought she wanted to be veterinarian.  Julian has developed leadership skills that have been astonishing. She has been an advocate for LGBTQ Teens, Domestic Violence issues and the drug and alcohol teen issues.  2 years ago, Julian won 6 awards in our community, one which included be presented a youth leadership award by our local senator. It was good for her self esteem. Julian paved the way for musical interest in her younger sisters. she was writing songs and performing them and then seemed to take more of an interest learning how to play better. Julian is the child that wants to explore the world. We counted and she has been to 21 different countries and 31 states. We are hoping she makes it to Brazil in December to participate in a leadership training for a month. Julian holds three jobs: staff at the local boys and girls club which she grew up (and holds the most recent title: Youth of the Year for the Boys and Girls' Club), works for the district attorney's office and at the local grocery store. She enjoys being an unschooler and just entered her freshman year of college after graduating a year early. 

This is Milan, my 16 yo powerhouse songwriter/performer. She plays guitar (her passion), violin, and taught herself how to play the piano. She is in the local youth orchestra which is connected to our local symphony. This year she even went to Italy with the organization. For the last two years, Milan participated in the Camp Up With People Program (http://www.campupwithpeople.org/) and really developed her skills in performing. She is hoping that she can apply for junior staff next year. Milan is very smart, swift and has the ability to converse with anyone. She is one of those kids who can have a full conversation with an adult and they are amazed. Many times, when we go away on trips, Milan will befriend kids who have Autism spectrum disorders. It is something about her heart that makes these kids trust her and attach to her. Their parents recognize it immediately and thank her for being kind. Milan is industrious and just landed her second job with McDonald's. She is also a newspaper delivery person, who gets up every morning at 3 am.  Milan has a major interest in environmental studies and has been wanting to build a Aquaponic Farm in our home. Hopefully we will get it done this year. I will post Milan singing one of the songs she wrote. She has been talking about getting more exposure, so we are looking to put her in some open mics. 

This is Qwyn, my youngest who is 12 years old. She is our budding actress. She had an interest in performing, so we put her in a couple of local plays and she did real well. When Qwyn  was  in brick and mortar school she was tested and found that she was gifted. Even though we homeschool, she participates in the local school district's gifted program. In addition to acting, Qwyn is developing her interest in playing both the guitar and ukulele. She has been dabbling in songwriting and sings songs, which Milan writes and plays for her. Qwyn, Milan and Julian formed a group called Color Blind and perform in the community. 

We are the parents of these awesome kids. They are what fuel our drive for free learning. At times, we second guessed ourselves and at times we felt like the luckiest family in the world...this is a learning process but that's the choice that one makes.